o follow Christ, we are asked to bear our own crosses, accepting the trials and difficulties of life as part of our spiritual journey.
But what happens when our cross feels too heavy, too painful, or too unfair?
Have we ever found ourselves wishing we could trade it for someone else's? And what does it really mean to take up our cross in the first place?
The Weight of Our Crosses
When we speak of "taking up our cross," it’s easy to think of this command in a general sense: enduring suffering, hardship, or inconvenience for the sake of our faith. Yet, the crosses we carry are deeply personal.
They might be illness, unemployment, family strife, or personal failure.
For some, the cross may be physical pain, while for others it’s emotional or spiritual suffering. Every individual’s cross is unique, shaped by their personal journey and circumstances.
At times, this cross can feel unbearable. In those moments, it’s natural to look at others and think, "If only I had their life, their problems seem easier than mine."
It’s the age-old temptation of comparison, imagining that someone else’s burdens are lighter or more manageable than our own.
But would we truly want to trade our cross for another's? And even if we could, would we find it any easier to carry?
The Danger of Comparison
Human nature often drives us to compare our lives with others, especially when we’re struggling. We see someone else’s prosperity or health and wish we could have their seemingly lighter burdens.
We imagine their lives to be free from the kind of suffering we endure. But in doing so, we forget that we can never fully understand what someone else is carrying.
Each person’s cross is hidden, in part, from view. The smile on someone’s face may hide deep sorrow or anxiety.
The person who seems to have everything together may be battling a cross we cannot see—loneliness, depression, or spiritual desolation.
When we long for someone else’s life or trials, we are not acknowledging the mystery of God’s providence.
God has uniquely crafted each of our crosses with love and purpose, even though it may be difficult to see in moments of pain.
Our crosses, heavy as they may feel, are perfectly fitted to our lives, to our capacity for growth, and to our salvation.
Learning from Simon of Cyrene
One of the most poignant moments in the Stations of the Cross is when Simon of Cyrene helps Jesus carry His cross.
Though reluctant at first, Simon steps in and shares the burden of the Saviour’s suffering. This moment reveals something powerful: while we are each called to carry our own cross, there are times when we will need help, and times when we will help others.
Simon’s role reminds us that our crosses are not meant to be carried in isolation. God provides us with family, friends, and the Church community to help us on our journey.
There will be times when others assist us, and times when we are called to ease the burden of someone else. However, this does not mean we are trading crosses, but rather sharing in one another’s suffering, just as Christ shares in ours.
In accepting help or offering it, we fulfil the law of love that Christ taught. As St Paul writes, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). We are not abandoning our cross, but learning to carry it with grace, humility, and love.
The Cross as an Instrument of Redemption
The notion of taking up our cross becomes even more meaningful when we reflect on the purpose of the cross in Christ’s own life. Jesus' cross was not just a symbol of suffering, but an instrument of redemption. Through His death on the cross, He opened the doors to eternal life and conquered sin and death.
When we take up our crosses, we are invited to participate in this mystery of redemption. Our sufferings, when united to Christ’s, have a purpose far beyond what we can see. This doesn’t mean that God causes our suffering, but He allows it and uses it for our spiritual growth and the salvation of souls.
St John Paul II often spoke of the redemptive nature of suffering. In his Apostolic Letter Salvifici Doloris, he reminds us that Christ “opened his suffering to man,” inviting us to unite our pains with His. Through this union, we find deeper meaning and even holiness in our struggles.
Our crosses, therefore, are not only burdens to be borne but also instruments of grace and transformation.
Would You Rather Carry Someone Else’s Cross?
If we were given the chance to exchange our cross for someone else’s, would we take it? At first glance, it might seem tempting. But when we look deeper, we realise that no one else’s cross is suited to us.
God, in His wisdom, has given each of us the specific cross that will lead us to sanctity, if only we carry it with faith and perseverance.
Imagine for a moment swapping crosses with someone who appears to have an easier life. After a few steps, you may find that their cross is much heavier than it looked from a distance.
Perhaps they are struggling with hidden grief, loss, or a deep spiritual trial that you never noticed. And while you may think your cross is unbearable, it is precisely the cross that God has allowed for your journey towards Him.
The saints often reflected on the necessity of embracing one’s own cross. St Thérèse of Lisieux, known for her “Little Way,” accepted her daily sufferings as opportunities to love God more deeply.
She teaches us that it is not the size or severity of the cross that matters, but the love with which we carry it.
Finding Strength in Christ
One of the greatest comforts we have as Christians is knowing that we do not carry our crosses alone. Jesus, who carried His cross to Calvary, walks alongside us in our sufferings. In moments when our burdens feel too heavy, we can turn to Him for strength and comfort.
As St Paul wrote, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). When we unite our struggles with Christ’s, we find the grace we need to persevere.
We may not always understand why we are asked to carry certain crosses, but we trust that God’s plan is greater than our own, and that He will give us the strength to bear whatever comes our way.
The sacraments, particularly the Eucharist and Reconciliation, are powerful sources of grace that help us carry our crosses. In the Eucharist, we receive the very body and blood of Christ, who sustains us in our journey.
In Reconciliation, we experience the mercy and forgiveness that lifts the burden of sin and restores us to grace.
Embracing the Cross with Joy
While it may seem impossible to carry our crosses with joy, the saints show us that it is indeed possible.
St Francis of Assisi, St Thérèse of Lisieux, and countless others embraced their sufferings as a means to grow closer to God. They found joy not in the suffering itself, but in the love they offered to God through their trials.
This joy comes from the deep trust that God is with us, even in the darkest moments. It comes from knowing that our crosses, no matter how heavy, are not the end of the story. The resurrection follows the crucifixion.
There is hope, redemption, and eternal life beyond the cross.
While we may be tempted to envy the crosses of others, we are reminded that our own crosses are perfectly suited to our journey toward sanctity.
Instead of wishing for someone else’s life or burdens, let us embrace the cross we have been given with faith, hope, and love. And let us remember that in every trial, Christ walks with us, sharing in our suffering and offering us the strength to carry on.
Through our crosses, we are drawn closer to Him, and in Him, we find the promise of eternal life.