Despite this shared purpose, many of us fall into the habit of keeping to ourselves, reflecting a certain British reserve.
This article explores the importance of breaking down these barriers and extending a warm greeting to those who join us on our pews.
The Tradition of British Reserve
British reserve is a term often used to describe the natural tendency of British people to be somewhat reserved, polite, and reluctant to engage with strangers.
This behaviour can be traced back to cultural norms that value privacy, personal space, and a certain stoicism.
While these traits can be positive, fostering respect and consideration, they can also create distance between individuals, even within the communal setting of a church.
In the context of a Catholic Mass, this reserve might manifest as avoiding eye contact, sitting in the same seat each week without acknowledging others, or leaving the church quickly after the service without engaging in conversation.
While these actions may be unintentional, they can result in a sense of isolation, particularly for newcomers or those who may be struggling.
The Call to Community
The Catholic Church places a strong emphasis on community. The Mass itself is a communal act of worship, where the congregation comes together to celebrate the Eucharist, listen to the Scriptures, and pray as one body in Christ.
The Church teaches that we are all part of the Body of Christ, and this sense of unity is essential to our faith.
Pope Francis has often spoken about the importance of community and the need to reach out to one another.
In his apostolic exhortation, Evangelii Gaudium, he writes, "The Church is called to be the house of the Father, with doors always wide open."
This openness extends not only to welcoming those who are new to the faith but also to deepening the bonds between those already within the Church.
Breaking Down Barriers
To foster a true sense of community, it is essential to break down the barriers created by British reserve. This does not mean abandoning the values of respect and politeness, but rather finding ways to connect with those around us in a meaningful way.
Here are some practical steps to help break down these barriers and build a stronger, more welcoming community within your parish.
1. Smile and Make Eye Contact
A simple smile and making eye contact can go a long way in making someone feel welcome. It signals openness and friendliness, and can often be the first step in starting a conversation.
Before the Mass begins or during the Sign of Peace, take a moment to smile and make eye contact with those around you.
2. Introduce Yourself
Introducing yourself to those sitting near you is a straightforward but effective way to build connections.
A simple "Hello, my name is..." can break the ice and pave the way for further conversation. This is especially important for newcomers, who may feel unsure or out of place.
3. Offer a Gesture of Friendship
Small gestures of friendship can have a significant impact. This could be as simple as offering a handshake, a nod of acknowledgment, or even a few kind words.
These small acts of kindness help to create a warm and welcoming atmosphere within the church.
4. Be Attentive to Others
Pay attention to those around you, and be mindful of their needs. If you notice someone who appears to be alone or uncomfortable, take the initiative to reach out to them.
This could be as simple as offering them a place to sit or asking if they need assistance.
5. Participate in Parish Activities
Getting involved in parish activities and events is an excellent way to build community. These activities provide opportunities to meet new people, form friendships, and strengthen the bonds within your parish.
Whether it is joining a prayer group, volunteering, or attending social events, participation fosters a sense of belonging.
6. Follow Up After Mass
Engaging with others should not be limited to the time during Mass. Take the time to follow up with those you have met after the service.
This could be a quick chat outside the church, a friendly email, or inviting them to join you for coffee. Building relationships takes time and effort, but the rewards are well worth it.
7. Encourage Inclusivity
Inclusivity is vital for a thriving parish community. Encourage others to join in conversations and activities, and be mindful of those who may feel excluded.
This includes being aware of cultural differences, language barriers, and other factors that might affect someone's ability to engage fully.
8. Lead by Example
Leading by example is one of the most powerful ways to encourage others to follow suit. By consistently demonstrating warmth, openness, and friendliness, you set a positive example for others to emulate.
Your actions can inspire others to break down their own barriers and reach out to those around them.
9. Pray for Community
Prayer is a powerful tool in fostering community. Pray for your parish, for those who are new or struggling, and for the strength to overcome your own reservations. Ask God to guide you in building a stronger, more connected community within your church.
10. Reflect on the Teachings of Christ
Reflect on the teachings of Christ and how they apply to building community. Jesus often reached out to those who were marginalized, lonely, and in need of companionship. By following His example, we can create a more inclusive and welcoming environment within our parishes.
The Benefits of Building Community
Building a strong sense of community within the church has numerous benefits. It helps to create a supportive network where individuals feel valued and cared for. This sense of belonging can strengthen faith, provide comfort in times of difficulty, and enhance the overall experience of worship.
For newcomers, a welcoming community can make all the difference in their faith journey.
Feeling accepted and included encourages continued participation and engagement with the church. It can also lead to personal growth, as relationships within the church often provide opportunities for learning, service, and spiritual development.
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Never mind the British reserve – say hello to those who join you on your pew!
By making a conscious effort to break down barriers and reach out to others, we can build stronger, more vibrant parish communities.
A simple smile, a kind word, or a gesture of friendship can have a profound impact on someone's experience of the Mass and their sense of belonging within the church.
In the spirit of Christ's teachings and the call to community, let us embrace openness and inclusivity. Together, we can create a welcoming environment where everyone feels valued, supported, and connected.
Let us strive to be the house of the Father, with doors always wide open, ready to welcome all who come to worship.